The all-answering Happy Potato Press FAQ
Even though these Frequently Asked Questions have been assembled with the greatest care, it might so happen that you won’t find a satisfying answer to your question on this page. Should this be the case, feel free to get in touch with us at: email@example.com. We love receiving questions. Serious ones. And weird ones. And we love getting emails. We eat them all — promise.
- You are a one-person press. Why do you refer to yourself as ‘we’?
Let’s start with another question, shall we?
- Where can I buy these potatoes?
Like every quality vegetable: in the better bookstores. Naturally, we only work with better bookstores. (You can find one right here)
- Are your books actually edible?
- I ordered a book and I hate it. Can I send it back?
Nope. Just finish your plate and stop whining.
- What do you think about french fries?
Not really the true thing, but can’t help loving them. Especially with some Richard Brautigan on top.
- Can I expect some of your books to be converted to the big screen soon?
Let’s see. At the moment we are in advanced discussions with several top Hollywood directors and production companies. Supposedly, Brad Pitt is almost certain to play the lead in the Happy Potato. Even though Javier Bardem is also still in contention. But you know Hollywood. It’s mostly talk.
- Why do you actually have this FAQ? And who composed it? There don’t seem to be any relevant questions. You just seem to be talking to yourself.
Let’s not start discussing the self and the other, shall we?
- I think your books are too expensive.
Is that even a question?
- Do you believe in the truth?
- As in 1 + 1 = 2?
Sure. But what if 1 is already composed of 2 or more? Would the answer still be 2?
- Is it fun to be a smart ass?
Only for a little while. It’s actually quite tiring in the long run.
- Do you believe in God?
Why not. Just don’t ask how we interpret God. (Hint: No, not George Clooney)
- Do you believe in Satan?
That’s too easy.
- What’s with all this food?
It’s very simple. We just need it to stay alive.
- Was Dumb Things ghostwritten by Jim Carrey or Jeff Daniels?
It was not.
- What is your favorite book?
There isn’t enough room to answer this properly, but let’s say we like literature that is not literature. Children’s books that are not children’s books. Poems that are not poems. And the funny pages, of course.
- Do you publish books by authors other than yourself?
We do. But please don’t start that discussion about other and self again. It’s a can of worms. We will publish one some day. A can of worms with an ISBN number. We just have to find the right author.
- Can I send you my manuscript?
- Will you read it?
We will definitely look at it.
- Can I do an internship at Happy Potato Press?
- Why do you use this univers font on the site?
Purely symbolic. We at Happy Potato Press believe that aesthetics are overrated.
- Can you tell me how to be happy?
A wise man once said, get up in the morning, go to bed at night. And in the meantime, do what you want to do. Personally, we believe that eating potatoes also helps.